This will not necessarily be easy, but it can be worth it. Sure, there's always divorce, or separation, but there are a lot of reasons people don’t leave unhappy relationships, many of which are rooted in fear, explains couples counselor Ronica Arnold Branson, Ph.D. “Fear of being alone, fear of being rejected, and the fear of failure—these all apply to our relationships and why we continue to stay in them even though we aren’t happy.” Email me or individuals like myself to really dive deep into the root of the problem, and not just assume people have a bad social life, health problems, or are introverts to the point of depression. Say you unexpectedly got released early from work on a Friday. If your boyfriend feels unhappy, he may not show it because of how men are “supposed to act”. I’m not going anywhere. Above all else, I was relieved. It was the first time it hit me: a relationship does not (and should not) make you happier. What Should I Do? In other words, we’re generally—not always, but more often than not—excited to see and be with our partner. Now turn that around on yourself: if you're always badgering your SO about the way they do the dishes or how they hang their washing, there's likely something more fundamental about your love life that you aren't addressing. Maybe you feel that you are loved under certain conditions only, or you keep up a facade for your partner. Forgive her and forgive yourself for whatever happens in the relationship. As a college student, I have spent time offering advice to friends as needed. It's so painful to watch, in fact, that when we see people in this situation, we often can't help but talk about them under our breath. Losing yourself in relationships is no fun. Carlyle Jansen, relationship expert and author of Sex Yourself: The Woman’s Guide to Mastering Masturbation and Achieving Powerful Orgasms, told Bustle, "If your partner is nitpicky and cranky at the smallest thing, they are likely unhappy and often not saying anything directly." You might need to get out of the relationship too. Most people feel a little insecure about their relationship at some point, especially in the early stages of dating and forming a commitment. Make sure to include aspects of your relationship that made you happy. (25 Possible Things), He Said I Love You Too Soon (15 Easy Ways To Respond), Jealous Boyfriend (17+ Ways To Deal With A Jealous Man), How To Impress Your Crush (21+ Impressive Ways), 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You, Boyfriend Doesn’t Love Me Anymore (11 Things To Do Right Away), What To Do If Your Man Stops Calling You (5 Important Tips). I’m a college student with several years of dating experience. 5. And it’s an identity crisis. You have to be happy on your own before you can be truly happy in a relationship. There are several reasons that you might be feeling unhappy regardless of how much you may love your boyfriend. Happy relationships energize us and we look forward to spending time with the person. ​There’s no right or wrong answer here. Reassure him that you still love him and want to be with him. It could be that there's an important issue that you're afraid to address, or changes you're scared to discuss...or it could be because you're just over the relationship. If that's the case, your best bet is to think deeply and figure out why it is that you're always feigning an exit. For some reason though, for him I am not comfortable because I cannot communicate the way “he thinks a girl should” . This might include more dates or spending more time together after work. But at the end of the day, all that matters is whether both of you are compatible with each other. For example, maybe your SO's lack of ambition is starting to wear on your home life, but you can't bring yourself to talk about it with them. Here are a few of the best ways to make yourself and your boyfriend happier: As you begin to explore your emotions more, you might find the pieces of your relationship that are missing. The two of you could be living together and stressed about money, work, and more. ​Talk about your feelings with each other. If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. ​Write each other love notes or buy each other small gifts. The love might be there, but the quality of the relationship could be fading. Self reflection helps you understand yourself better. ​Find a hobby or a class that you enjoy doing together. It is time for you to find the Ways to Move On After a Bad Relationship The signs that your girlfriend is not happy with you is hidden but you need to know it and do something about it! I am in control over how I treat myself. And it’s painful. Someone who often acts destructively in an attempt to seek revenge or inflict emotional pain on their partner — rather than have a mature conversation about the spat — probably doesn't have very much respect and love for the relationship. Who are the first people you call to hang out? 2. If so, read on. Healthy, happy couples make plans to do things together, whether it's a collective Thanksgiving dinner or a three-day weekend getaway. I am not saying I am by any means a professional, but this article is honestly not informative nor helpful for the people you are seeking to reach. This is a hard realization, but some people aren’t meant to be together. You can also take a look at what you’re doing differently now compared to what you were doing when you first started dating. If your boyfriend seems less interested in spending time with you or seems unhappy, he could feel the same way. I could not stop the thoughts. We're told that falling in love looks something like an accident. Immediately, I felt calmer and more myself. You should be aware of how often you feel unhappy and in what ways it influences you. You do want to look out for your own happiness in general and make sure that you aren’t miserable. Perhaps you feel guilty for experiencing these feelings? Remember that self-love is important for enjoying a happy, healthy, and respectful relationship. This might be playing an instrument or participating in a local organization. It can be a friendship or romantic relationship, but if it's toxic, you will … That short list of individuals is who you care about the most. Of course, if you feel that way you should be honest. Youthinkyouwouldbehappierlivingadifferentlife. The easiest way to know if you’re settling in a relationship is by asking yourself if you’re unhappy in your relationship. If you tell him that you want to break up right away, he might be upset. This guide explains what to do if you’re in this situation. Once I learned to trigger these feelings inside a man, it was common that they’d treat me like a princess (read my personal story to learn more). Try to keep these feelings related to just the relationship and not other factors. Relationships do go through rough patches, and just because you are unhappy now, does not mean there isn't room for resolution or healing in your relationship.However, if … Signs You're Not Happy In Your Relationship. Hopefully this isn't a regular occurrence, though; having a full schedule is one thing, but not making an effort at all to shift around obligations and hang out is a different beast entirely — one that could mean you don't really dig your SO like you used to. You stay in a toxic relationship. It’s important to find ways to make yourself happy, but don’t let that distract you completely from any relationship problems you may be having. 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